067 -Anger Management Part 1

 
 
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Anger Management 1
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs

Counseling Continuing Education Course can be purchased for this at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/581/c/

Objectives
~    Explore the function of anger
~    Identify the costs and benefits of anger
~    Identify anger triggers
~    Rejection/Isolation
~    Failure
~    Loss of control
~    The unknown

What is Anger
~    Half of the fight or flight reaction
~    Based on prior learning, the brain interprets a threat to person, property or self-concept
~    Norepinephrine/adrenaline is secreted to prepare to fight or flee
~    Heart rate and respiration increases, focus becomes singular (tunnel vision), sweating begins
~    Urge to lash out verbally and/or physically
~    Feelings: More than just anger

Costs of Anger
~    Social
~    Pushes people away / Increases isolation
~    Intimidates people (Respect vs. Intimidation)
~    Perceived by children which increases their anxiety
~    Physical
~    Uses a ton of energy for what is often not a major threat
~    Causes injury from others & self (ulcers, self harm, heart attack, high cholesterol)

Costs of Anger cont…
~    Emotional
~    Reduces the amount of time to be happy (anger + time nurturing anger + time recovering from anger)
~    Can lead to depression
~    Environmental
~    Broken stuff (hands, windshields, plates)
~    Jail time
~    Reduces your options (relationships, work, housing)
~    Loss of employment
~    Anger episodes at work
~    Reduced productivity and increased illness due to anger

Benefits of Anger
~    Power:  Pushes away or dominates a threat
~    Punishment/revenge to make others feel the same pain
~    Save face/reputation
~    Hide emotional pain
~    Get attention (alarm people, make a scene)
~    Change other people’s behavior

Origins of Anger
~    Feeling of a Threat
~    Society is less interdependent but we still need people  (Barn Raising to Capitalism)
~    Valuing power and success above compassion
~    Harsh or disengaged parenting
~    Primitive coping skills
~    Low self-esteem / External validation
~    Threat Categories
~    Rejection/Isolation
~    Failure
~    The Unknown
~    Loss of Control

Origins of Anger
~    Threat Categories
~    Rejection/Isolation
~    Failure
~    The Unknown
~    Loss of Control

Anger Triggers
Anger & Irritability Vulnerabilities
~    Lack of sleep
~    Low blood sugar
~    Too many stimulants
~    Being sick or in pain
~    Being mindless and letting little things build up (think dirty laundry or weeds)
~    Depression
~    Too much estrogen or testosterone
~    Anxiety/stress (Bridezilla; Being spread too thin)

Addressing the Anger
~    Develop skills to tolerate distress and self-soothe
~    Distract don’t react
~    Journaling
~    Urge surfing
~    Develop mindful self-awareness for
~    Vulnerabilities
~    Anger warning signs
~    Anger triggers
~    Goals (make a goals card)
~    Eliminate as many anger triggers as possible

Emergency Anger Control
~    Stop
~    Breathe slowly
~    Repeat your confidence phrase 3 times
~    Take a walk
~    Identify your courses of action
~    Choose the course of action that is most in alignment with your goals card
~    Better relationship with kids/family/friends
~    More energy
~    Less desire to use drugs/alcohol
Addressing Anger Worksheet
~    When x happened I felt
Disrespected  |  Disappointed  | Misunderstood | Embarrassed
Powerless  | Jealous/Envious
~    Which triggered my fear of:
~    Rejection/Isolation because of the following thoughts…
~    Failure because of the following thoughts…
~    Loss of control because of the following thoughts…
~    The unknown because of the following thoughts…

Worksheet cont…
~    For every negative thought, develop a positive coping thought
~    Rejection/Isolation
~    Who do you have
~    How are you better off without that person in their current state (or yours)
~    Failure
~    What can you do well
~    What can you learn
~    Loss of control/The unknown
~    What is the most probable outcome
~    How have you handled situations like this before

Summary
~    Anger is a protective response to a threat
~    Due to a myriad of factors, people can become hypersensitive to threats
~    Extended periods of anger and irritability cause the stress response system to dial down sensitivity leading to depression
~    Many people with anger management issues have internalized negative self-talk from childhood
~    Directed at them
~    Interpreted by them

Summary
~    Anger is often reinforced by immediate, temporary relief/victory/vindication
~    Addressing anger involves helping the person
~    Learn to stop and de-escalate/downregulate
~    Identify and remember why change is important
~    Identify and develop alternative responses
~    Enhance self-esteem/reduce the need for external validation
~    Countercondition unnecessary threats
~    Become mindfully self-aware
~    Eliminate vulnerabilities

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