095 – Temperament: Thinking and Feeling
Counselor Toolbox

 
 
00:00 / 62:46
 
1X

Relationships
Thinking and Feeling
Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes PhD, LPC-MHSM, LMHC, NCC
Executive Director, AllCEUs
Host, Counselor Toolbox
President, Recovery and Resilience International

Continuing Education (CE) credits can be earned for this presentation at https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/615/c/

Objectives
~    Define temperament
~    Examine how knowing your temperament and the temperament of those around you can
~    Improve communication
~    Enhance relationships
~    Reduce stress
~    Explore in-depth the Thinking/Feeling dimension
~    Identify potential conflicts
~    Examine potential ways to help people on opposite ends of the spectrum collaborate.
Temperament
~    A relatively stable set of traits referring to
~    Preferred environments
~    Learning and problem solving styles and methods
~    Ways of conceptualizing and approaching the world
~    Philosophical approach to the world
~    Time management
~    Temperament occurs along a complementary continuum
~    Neither end of the continuum is better or worse
~    Most people are somewhere in between each point
Temperament
~    As stress increases, people gravitate toward their preferred temperament dimensions
~    Additional stress and vulnerabilities can be through
~    Awareness of personal preferences (Prevent your stress)
~    Awareness of the preferences of those around you
~    Knowledge of how to create an environment supportive of individual preferences

Temperament—Conceptualization/Lens
Thinking
~    Like words such as principles, justice, standards or analysis
~    Laws
~    More dichotomous
~    Can be frustrated by Feeler’s lack of decisiveness or inattention to “the facts”
~    Can be swayed by arguments about how something is the right or logical thing to do given the evidence
~    Value objectivity above sentiment
Feeling
~    Like words such as care, compassion, mercy, harmony
~    Ethics
~    Middle of the road
~    Can be frustrated by the Thinker’s adherence to the rules
~    Can be swayed by arguments for why something is the most compassionate or merciful thing to do
~    Value sentiment above objectivity

Temperament—Conceptualization/Lens
Interventions
~    Compromise
~    Appeal to each other in their preferred language
~    Pro and con list
~    Involve all interested parties
~    Remember that not everyone is comfortable with feeling words

Temperament
Thinking
~    Want to apply objective principles to solve problems
~    Can assess logical consequences

Feeling
~    Want to apply values and ethics from multiple perspectives
~    Good at assessing the human impact

Interventions
~    The resolution of most problems requires a compromise between what is logically the most correct choice and which decision will have the best impact on the person, the couple and the larger system.
~    The values/epitaph activity can help clarify which way to tip the balance (What 3 values are most important to you)
~    Motivation–the “Feeler” can present logical arguments
~    Motivation–the “Thinker” can present from the perspective of how the less logical choice might impact the couple/family/system
~    Look for the logic in the “Feeler’s” resolution (Residential treatment)

Decision Making Guide
~    Stop and think
~    Clarify goals and values
~    Determine the facts
~    Develop options
~    Consider the consequences
~    Choose
~    Monitor and modify
Temperament
Thinking
~    Respond most easily to people’s thoughts and issues

Feeling
~    Respond most easily to people’s values and emotions

Interventions
~    Practice active listening
~    Understand the other person’s process
~    When I am dealing with a problem I need you to:
~    a) Validate my feelings
~    b) Help me solve the problem
~    c) Listen so I can clarify what I need to do to solve the problem
~    Engage with the person in terms of what they respond to (thoughts vs. feelings)
~    Be careful not to assume the Feeler is asking for something when all they want is acknowledgment

Temperament
Thinking
~    May think that those who are sentimental take things too personally

Feeling
~    Think that those preferring objectivity are insensitive

Interventions
~    Working with humans requires a balance of logic and compassion.
~    The Feeler needs to learn to see the thinker’s perspective as one of deep caring about what he or she perceives as right and wrong.
~    The Thinker needs to explore the feeler’s perspective in terms of the right thing being the most compassionate thing.
~    Neither logic or compassion always wins.  It takes compromise
~    Feelers tend to be more physiologically reactive to emotions making them seem more sensitive
~    Thinkers are very sensitive, but they often jump past emotional expression into problem solving to try to make right what is most fair and compassionate

Temperament
Thinking
~    May argue both sides of an issue for mental stimulation

Feeling
~    Prefer a to agree with those around them

Interventions
~    Thinkers need to validate the Feeler’s perspective so he or she does not feel bullied
~    Thinkers can start by saying… “Let me play devil’s advocate…”
~    Thinkers can take the Feelers point and argue it, encouraging the Feeler to argue the other point.
~    Feelers need to be aware of how they feel and learn how to validate and accept without necessarily agreeing.
~    Thinkers need to be careful not to talk over the Feeler.
~    “I don’t know why you are asking me, you seem to have already made the decision.”

Summary
~    Thinkers and Feelers have many difficulties in relationships because of their differences in
~    Motivation
~    Communication
~    Counseling can help both parties clarify their individual and shared values.
~    When faced with a conflict, both parties can try to brainstorm a solution that most clearly fits both values
~    Feelers tend to be more physiologically reactive to emotions which makes them seem more sensitive
~    Both Thinkers and Feelers are quite adept at handling their problems
~    Thinkers want the problem(s) acknowledged
~    Feelers want their feelings acknowledged

Summary
~    In recovery Feelers can fall victim to being too compassionate (or guilt ridden) with others and may need to make more logical decisions based on their recovery
~    Can you help anyone if you relapse?
~    In recovery Thinkers may have difficulty identifying other people’s feelings due to fear of getting unloaded upon.
~    Thinkers need to get in touch with their emotions/feelings/reactions so their problem solving efforts are focused on the end goal
~    Feelers often need to develop distress tolerance skills to prevent reactive relapse

Summary
~    Each person is often a combination of some introverted and some extroverted characteristics
~    Knowing your own preferences can help you reduce your own vulnerabilities and stress
~    Knowing the preferences of your friends, family, coworkers can help you understand more about how to interact in harmony with them
~    Just like two people with depression may have different “symptoms,”  two extroverts may have different extrovert traits.
Summary
~    Quick Assessment
~    Do they/you talk it out or think then talk?
~    Are they/you “friends” with everyone or tend to stay with one or two people or alone?
~    Can they/you focus on one task for an extended period or do they need variety?
~    Do they/you prefer quiet or active environments?

By continuing to use the site, you agree to the use of cookies. more information

The cookie settings on this website are set to "allow cookies" to give you the best browsing experience possible. If you continue to use this website without changing your cookie settings or you click "Accept" below then you are consenting to this.

Close