078 -Conquering the Critical Inner Voice

 
 
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Conquering the Critical Inner Voice
Presented by: Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
Executive Director, AllCEUs

CEs can be earned for this presentation at: https://www.allceus.com/member/cart/index/product/id/611/c/

Objectives
~    Define the critical inner voice
~    Explore common messages from The Voice
~    Identify helpful responses to The Voice
~    Reflect upon why positive affirmations and prior interventions may not have worked.

The Critical Inner Voice
~    It is the defended, negative side of our personality that is opposed to our ongoing development.
~    The voice consists of the negative thoughts, beliefs and attitudes that
~    Oppose our best interests
~    Diminish our self-esteem
~    Warns us about other people
~    Promotes angry and cynical attitudes
~    Creates a negative, pessimistic picture of the world
The Voice cont…
~    It edits our thoughts, controls our behavior, and inhibits our actions.
~    It thinks it is protecting us from being hurt or feeling abandoned
~    It reinforces our feelings of shame and guilt and insufficiency.
~    When managed effectively, the barbs of your inner critic prevent complacency and boredom while nudging you to improve your life
Common “Voices” in Yourself

~    You’re stupid.
~    You’re unattractive.
~    You’re not like other people.
~    You’re a failure.
~    You never get anything right.
~    No one will ever love you.
~    You’re fat.
~    You’re such a loser.
~    You’ll never make friends.
~    You’ll never accomplish anything.
Common “Voices” in Your Career

~    You don’t know what you’re doing.
~    Who do you think you are? You’ll never be successful.
~    You’re under too much pressure. You can’t take it.
~    You’ll never get everything done. You’re so lazy.
~    You should just put this off until tomorrow.
~    No one appreciates you.
~    You’d better be perfect, or you’ll get fired.
~    Nobody likes you here.
~    When are you ever going to get a real job?
~    No one would hire you.
Common “Voices” in Relationships

~    You’re never going to find another person who understands you.
~    Don’t get too hooked on her.
~    He doesn’t really care about you.
~    She is too good for you.
~    You’re better off on your own.
~    As soon as she gets to know you, she will reject you.
~    You’ve got to be in control.
~    It’s your fault if he gets upset.
~    Don’t be vulnerable or you’ll wind up getting hurt.
Responses
~    So what?
~    Who says?
~    Who cares?
~    That doesn’t matter.
~    Prove it!
~    Positive affirmations only help when you actually believe the message.
~    Trying to substitute positive words for negative feelings can delay your self-discovery
More Responses
~    Cognitive restructuring is only effective when you have no subconscious desire to hold onto a negative thought.
~    What is the motivation for holding on to a negative thought
~    Fear of failure, rejection, the unknown?
~    Replace negative thoughts with realistic ones.
~    I have to be the best//impress…
~    I will DO my best.
Identifying Your Critical Inner Voice
~    Recognize the events that trigger your critical inner voice
~    Recognize the specific outside criticisms that support your critical inner voice
~    Become aware of times you may be projecting your self-attacks onto other people
~    Notice changes in your emotions, thoughts, sensations or urges
Visualizing the Real You/Developing Self-Esteem
~    My positive qualities and Abilities
~    My interests and activities
~    My long-term goals
~    My short-term goals
~    Where do I stand in relation to my goals?
~    What is the next step I need to make to achieve my goals?
In Therapy
~    The client will…
~    Identify the content of the negative thought process.
~    Articulate his or her self-attacks in the second person.
~    Discuss insights and reactions to verbalizing the voice.
~    Attempt to understand the relationship between voice attacks and early life experience.
~    Answer back to the voice attacks
~    Develop insight about how the internal critic is influencing his or her present-day behaviors.
~    Plan changes in these behaviors
Other Interventions
~    Stop ruminating
~    Shift your attention
~    Write it down
~    Think about who these voices sound like
~    Direct experience
~    Observational learning
~    Ask what advice you would give a friend who was experiencing self doubt.
Other Interventions
~    Examine the evidence
~    Replace overly critical thoughts with more accurate ones
~    Balance acceptance with self-improvement
~    Balance the negative with the positive
~    Practice self compassion
Summary
~    Everyone has a critical inner voice.
~    In some ways it tries to protect us keeping us in our comfort zone
~    Conquering The Voice requires
~    Understanding of why you may want to hold on to those messages
~    Development of self-acceptance
~    Practice!

In some ways The Voice tries to protect us, keeping us in our comfort zone.{=True ~False}